Thursday, February 25, 2016

To Our First Child...

Dear little one,

Today was the day we so anxiously looked forward to just seven short months ago, but today is far different than what we had planned. We know that if things had turned out differently, you may have already made your debut or you might hold out a few more days for your arrival. We will never know the exact date of when you would’ve been born; all we have is today, February 25th, 2016.

We longed for you for so, so long. The day we first learned about you, we couldn’t even believe it. You brought me to my knees in thanksgiving for the first time in my life that morning. Your time with us was short, but we are fulfilled in knowing you were loved and that you were covered in prayer your entire time with us.

Even though we never physically held you in our arms, you made us parents. The titles we had been praying for for so long.

It’s amazing how someone we never met taught us so much…

You taught us patience. We live in a world of instant gratification. We want something, we get it, it’s done. You, precious baby, oh how we wanted you…and wanted you. God’s plan unfolded to us to wait on His timing.

You taught us true thankfulness. We are thankful for our families, our friends, our homes, our jobs, our health, the modern conveniences that we overlook every day. But you, precious baby, you taught us how to be truly thankful…fall to our knees weeping thankful. Thankful to God for this most perfect gift.

You taught us teamwork. Your daddy and I aren’t always on the same page about chores, housework, planning ahead, etc. But when you, precious baby, came on the scene we immediately took on an “us against the world” attitude. We were easily agreeing on any plans that needed to be made and preparations that needed to take place before your arrival. We were thrilled to be given the opportunity to raise you together.

You taught us about priorities. You were instantly the reason behind any and every decision we made from the moment we knew you were with us. God was entrusting us with you, precious baby, and we were committed to do our very best for you in all situations and circumstances.

You taught us about prayer. We prayed before you and we prayed often. But you, precious baby, taught us what answered prayers felt like. Our prayer life has been fervent, specific and continual since you.

You taught us about faith. The night that we knew we were losing you, was the darkest night we’ve ever faced. While the sadness and heartbreak we felt was unbearable, you precious baby, we knew you were safe. Above our fears, we knew you were ok. We knew God was caring for you far better than we could have. We couldn’t understand the “why” of it all, but we had faith that you were being perfectly loved.

You taught us about love. Unconditional love. How could our hearts be instantly smitten and completely given to this tiny person we had never even met? How did our love for each other as husband and wife just change? You, precious baby, the gift of you opened our hearts to a new kind of love we never saw coming. A kind of love we will never lose hold of.

We’ve often said in the past seven months, God’s plans for you were even greater than the plans we had ourselves. We’ve often said, one day we’ll understand. One day, we’ll know His plan. One day, we’ll know your purpose.

Your purpose, precious baby, was to teach us these invaluable lessons that we are reminded of every single day since last Summer. Your purpose was patience, thankfulness, teamwork, priorities, prayer, faith and love.

We miss you every single day. We pray about you every single day. We are thankful for you every single day, and we cannot wait to meet you one day, precious baby.

Love you forever,

Mommy
Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. Psalm 147:5
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Ps. 8:3&4

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations, Deut. 7:9

For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death. Ps. 48:14
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov. 3:5&6
 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. Isa. 40:28



7 comments:

  1. Beautifully said Erica!! Praying for comfort over you today!

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  2. That brought tears to my eyes Erica. Perfect. I'm praying for you that you get another answer to your prayers soon. And praying that you never forget all these beautiful things you've learned, even through the pain. (Although, I don't believe you will!). <3, Katy

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    1. Also, I'm so excited about getting married to Jack and starting a family. I'm learning about patience too hahaha!

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  3. You are a precious soul with a beautiful spirit. God shines from you so brilliantly. Love you and pray for you often. ~Anna

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  4. Oh Erica, prayers for you and your husband. I experienced a loss before my other two babies, and it was the darkest time in my life. I know that there's nothing I can say to make it better, but please know that there are people out there who have been right there in your shoes and we are all here for you if you need anything.

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